13 Things Time Has Taught Me Late
It is just a matter of time before your dog starts barking at you.
Some of these things time has taught me came with pain, deep pain that really broke me while some came normally. Irrespective, I moved and picked the lessons that I am glad to be sharing with you in this article.
I am just a normal person. I have no superpowers nor any instinctive talent. I am just focused, prayerful, passionate, and consistent about what I set out to achieve. Some days life happens to me and it hits me hard but I just have to live it. Many times I have got what I have set out to achieve, some times I have failed.
Time, after death and personal experiences, is the best teacher. You do not have to seek time to teach you, you just have to be alive.
Growing is more about seeing than experiencing!
As you grow older, the fewer life experiences you will have and the less drama you will want to entertain but the more experiences and drama you will see. Then, you will realize that it is just a matter of time before everyone gets a share of their life’s cake.
There is a Luganda saying that “eliiso lyo mukulu awaddugala wewalaba” literally translated as, for an elder, it is the dark part of the eye that sees. The more you see, the more insights you get and the more dots you get connecting. The more you experience, the more you will be lost in the experience. That is why it is important for elders to guide the younger generations and for the young generations to accept and take the guidance.
Guidance when young, gives you an upper hand as you experience this thing we call life. Getting early caution on roads not good to be treaded and early guidance on roads that can be good for you living life forward is really important and worth it.
A Ugandan music duo, Radio & Weasel had their hit song “obudde” released in 2013 and to date, I still relate to and ponder on the ground message rotating around it. Most of its lyrics is in Luganda language but the underlying message is.
Do not play with time. When you dose off you lose. The one who loves you will chuck you. The one whom you have been giving jackfruit pieces, will change, become harsh and consider moving on because has found a better one. When time catches you, you will be canceled.
“Obudde” song, a luganda term translated as time in English, to date is still one of Radio and Weasel’s best songs of all time. Sad that Radio passed away in 2018. He was a Ugandan music legend whom I believe has not yet been replaced. His shoes were big that none has fit them again so far.
Time is very important and it will teach us a lot. Here are 12 things that time has taught me and I hope you also pick an insight;
1. Realize what is important or keep chasing the wrong ideals
Until we realize what is really important, we will keep chasing the wrong ideals. Most of our life is spent chasing false goals and worshipping false ideals. The day we realize that, is the day we really start to live.
We all know what we are doing and whom we are doing it with. But all we have to do is take time off and really ponder back and understand who and what is really important.
2. Understand who really matters or keep pleasing the wrong people.
Until you understand who really matters, you will continue pleasing the wrong people who don’t even care about your existence. You really, truly cannot please all of the people all of the time. Please yourself first and those people you deeply see and know that if you left this world, they would be the ones to feel the heaviest weight.
You cannot make everyone happy. But those whom you should be making happy and pleasing really are the ones who matter. We know them.
3. I cannot fight age.
Age is nature and you cannot fight nature. Fighting the aging process is like trying to catch the wind.
Understand that age is not just a number, it is your body changing, but it always has been. And as your body changes, understand your life also needs to change or settle. Do not waste time trying to reverse that, instead change your mindset to see the beauty in the new.
4. I do not need a lot.
Having a lot will not make you perfect or make you happier. When that sinks in, you become free of comparison and judgment. And that is truly liberating.
You only need to have enough, not a lot. Enough is subjective, you define your enough beyond the basics. You need to be true to yourself on that.
The more you own, the more you lose you. You become more attached to what you own. If you own a lot, know it is more of a responsibility than a status.
5. Few people and sometimes none really see what I do right, but many others see what I do wrong.
You can ride for someone and they will not notice until you park. When that becomes clear to you, you will start doing things for the right reasons to the right people and you will start having so much more fun and meaning in your life.
Everyone can criticize but not everyone has the dawg to appreciate. Time really changes and it changes people as well. Someone praising you today will be someone using your weaknesses against you tomorrow.
6. My body is amazing and important but it does not define me.
Your soul’s intentions and your actions define you. You will regret the years you spent berating your looks, the sooner you can make peace with the vessel your soul lives in, the better.
Bodies are just vehicles through which this soul lives and the day the soul is taken out, your body will even change its name and be taken to where it belongs. Take care of your body but use the same efforts in nourishing your soul as well.
Your actions, not your looks are all that will serve you or haunt you over the long term. Your skin color and body makeup will not.
7. Happiness and peace are medicine.
Many times we are responsible for most of the chaos in our lives. Your health is obviously important but stress, fear, and worry are far more damaging than any delicious food or drink you may deny yourself.
Happiness is not something that is going to come your way. You will have to put some effort to get it.
8. Who will remember me and for what? become important considerations as I age.
This is why it is important you be part of things that can live on beyond your finite worldly life.
Your love and your wisdom will live on far longer than any material thing you can pass down. Tell your stories, and share your knowledge and wisdom, they can travel farther than you can imagine.
9. Human beings are deeply selfish but also adaptive.
People can be where they deeply know they do not want to be or with people they do not want but the day they get a chance to be where they want to be or get someone they want to be with or have always wanted to be with, they will leave irrespective of what you share, the strength of the bond and how much you have built together.
I believe many people are in “serious relationships” with people they really know they have no future with but still do not want to lose the person!
When their time (when they have found someone they think they deeply want) to leave comes, those are the deep heartbreaks you hear! They both acted like it was so real yet one was faking it! Heartbreaks are truly part of the package of love. The moment you decide to open your heart to someone else, it is the moment you have chosen to be vulnerable to them and the whole idea of love.
10. Never is really not forever! It changes.
As you grow older, there are some things you will realize. One of them is;
Never, is not forever. It has a timeframe.
How long is Never? It depends on personal circumstances and age.
If you are the kind who says “that can never be me or can never be me again”, that thing will go on to happen twice and even thrice to prove to you that the first time it happened it was not a mistake. The saying “Never say never” is not from nay-sayers. It is true.
When there is a conflict between what we know and what we see, we often default to the wrong one. Your environment, personal circumstances, and age says a lot about your never.
If you take the holiest man in the land of the witches, it is just a matter of when he becomes one.
11. No one was coming to save me. I am on my own.
It is you who is fully responsible for taking yourself from the pit you are in. Not government.
Even the people you call family, will prefer more to just identify with you than associate with you. “We are of the same clan. He is my Uncle’s kid. That is all, nothing else. I do not want to know the rest”.
The Baganda have a saying that “Ensi esekera ayengezza”. Meaning People smile at those with ripen fruits. Many people will only see it worthy to associate with you when there is something to benefit them.
But, it is also important for you to understand that you cannot be all self-made. People you know can disappoint you and not show up, but people you do not know can show up and help you attain the heights you deserve. Not everyone knows what they want nor can see their true potential. That is why people have mentors and coaches. It is also important to believe in someone else’s belief in you until your own belief kicks in. This is something you will know and realize its truthfulness with time. You will wish you had believed someone who saw your potential.
12. Time does not just change itself but it changes people as well and secrets will be revealed.
Many things in life that you do not know but have to know, should not be your worry or of your hunt. Just trust time, it will all fall there for you without even having to dig deep.
Secrets will be revealed so long as they are between human and human. It is just a matter of when.
Today someone praising sweethearting you will be the same person trashing and cursing you. People will always put their interests over any bond they have together.
People will show you their true colors. It is just a matter of time or a matter of circumstances happening. It is just a matter of time before your dog starts barking at you.
13. Before you enter into or do anything, be clear of your why.
In simple terms, be intentional.
Before you enter into something, be a relationship, a business relationship, a conversation, a negotiation, a school, or pick a given course at college, always have a clear why. Then still again before you enter into, have an exit route. Always have a fall back plan.
If things go wrong, you will still get back to your why and see if your base aim was achieved or not. There is nothing that lasts forever in life and you will not always get what you want but you always get what you negotiate. In negotiation, you will not take it all, you will have something to lose to the other party to get what you want, and this case the other party can be life itself or a partner. You will not get it all but you will always get what you negotiate so long as it is based on your why.
CONCLUSION:
You just have to be alive. And the party will happen.
If you are the kind of a person who loves to read good books that will not only influence your today and future but also your future generation, we have some such books. Please get yourself a copy of Dad Daughter book (It has 200 life lessons every father must teach his daughter), The Lifetime Treasure Book (It will teach the 18 skills that payoff forever but school will not teach you), or Dad Son book (It has 200 life lessons every father must teach his son). Thank you.
This article was originally published at malidad.com. https://www.malidad.com/article/things-time-has-taught-me-late-163